I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Pants are for mortals
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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