you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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