Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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