dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize