On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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