I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
