did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
