Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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