I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
