Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
