I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
