Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
