Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
