I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize