it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
