that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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