Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
