i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
