guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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