Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
