Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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