fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
