I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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