Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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