why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
