Whod you bang
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just pee around me
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
