U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I came so hard my ears popped.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
