I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
