I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
