Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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