Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
