New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
