Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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