You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
