but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
