The maid of honor just puked.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize