A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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