Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
