win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
