I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
