the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
