Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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