he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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