All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize