you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
