I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize