She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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