sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
