I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
