my sisters under your porch take her home
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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