Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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