i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize