ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
