i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
