why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
