I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
