i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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