you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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